MX STL #212: "The Race"
There was an interesting plotline here involving a virus that a terrorist group planned to release on Del Oro, turning it into a plague-ridden ghost town...which was resolved in the first five minutes.
Instead we were treated to a script about a test drive for a new N-Tek car conducted in an extra-harsh environment, a cross-desert race...as well as a fellow competitor who palns to destroy a racer he holds a grudge against, Jeremy McGrath (no relation to Josh), and the return of Berto's Poo-Chi.
Max loses rock-paper-scissors to Kat for the honor of driving this buggy for the fisrst half of the race. Letting a dame steal the drivers seat, Maxie? If Dale Earnhart were alive today he'd kick you a new bumhole. He's got to love her if he's willing to let her drag him by the cojones like this.
The fancy new N-Tekbobile gets thrown off a cliff and blown up by "Dick Dastardly" 's bomb. Max and Kat decide to let Berto tell Jeff. Like I said, it's a miracle that boy isn't swabbing out greasetraps in the N-Tek motor pool by now.

JLA #12: "Tiger and Pussycat"
The tiger talisman, the twelfth and final, is found...at a pie-eating contest? How the devil does one bake a rock into a pie without knowing it? Jackie and Jade compete against Tohru and a guy who looks like Mr. Ziffel...and despite all their best efforts, it's the slow-eating geezer who finds the rock. Tohru, however, wins the blue ribbon for eating 47 pies at a sitting.
The talisman is cracked by an old man's dentures? For some reason I thought those things were indestructible. If they can be broken, why not just smash the lot of them and have done with it?
The power in the tiger talisman is balance--yin and yang. When Jackie touches the cracked talisman, he instantly goes Double Dragon. There's Jackie Light (superego) and Jackie Dark (id). You can tell them apart because (a) Light is a wussy and Dark is a horse's a** (b) Dark steals one of the Dark Hand goons' jacket and shades and (c) if you look close, Dark has these big Moe Howard eye bags.
Jackie Dark is captured by Valmont's boys and paid off to steal all the talismans from Section 13, which he does--bringing Chandu to life.
Was anyone else thinking of the episode of "Darkwing Duck" in which one of Megavolt's devices split D.W. into his id and superego?
Note that Jackie Dark isn't really *evil*, merely a creature of pure desire and alck of reason. His loyalties lie with anyone who fulfuills his desire to sate himelf. Hence, id.
Jackie does manage to pull himself together, but not before the demon is released from his stone prison. I'm looking forward to part two, but I notice that another season has been budgeted out for "Jackie Chan Adventures". If all twelve talismans have been found and the demon released, what's the story arc for fall?

POK JJ #338: "Going Apricorn!"
Kurt the famed Pokeball maker has the GS ball. he is eminently knowledgeble about every facet of the Pokeball making industry. And now he reveals its deep, dark secret: it is...some kind of Pokeball. Greeeeeeeeeeeat. Some expert minds working in the Pokecommunity here, folks.
Ash learns from Kurt's cherry-cheeked granddaughter that the best Pokeballs can be made of some nut called an apricorn--which is apparantly a hybrid of an acorn and an apricot. When Kojiro said Kurt made Pokeballs of of acorns, I thought she was mad...but apparantly this Marlon Brando-looking craftsman is a purist, using natural resources in his Pokecrafts. We see him hard at work forging a ball in his kiln--metal or clay, I'm not sure which, though I don't remember seeing anyone cool hot clay with water--at one point.
The catch is this: if you want a special apricorn Pokeball, you have to harvest your own darn apricorns. The one in Kurts's front yard only grows white apricorns, so Team Twerp has to foray into the mountains for the other six color varieties.
Team Rocket--in a scene which I think got a little too verbose at points--decide that apricorn harvesting could bring a pretty penny from Pokeball enthusiasts. Meowth says, in a pedantic fashion, that customers would sell their souls for one of those balls and that they don't grow on trees. James corrects him, pedantically, and says that they actually do. Jessy suggests they get going, and they leave--hidden behind a cardboard bush that seems to be left over from a third-grade shool play.
The first tree the twerps come to are pink apricorn, which--*snicker*--are used to make--*giggle*--love balls. Oh...the...Freudian...imagery...inherent in...this scene. Excuse me a moment.
[spends several minutes overcome with howling laughter]
Okay...[clears throat]...I'm composed now. Unfortunately these apricorns are inaccessble because they aren't ripe yet. Brock wants to use love balls to capture women (???), and for that Misty gives his ear a particularly painful tweak.
My favorite was the blue apricorn, which makes excellent Pokeballs for capturing water Pokemon. Misty wants one desperately, and Ash is only too happy to get blue balls for her.
In this particular tree there live exploding pinecone Pokemon, Pineco--and Misty is *very* disturbed by Brock's burning desire to capture one. Seems she doesn't want to see one of her lovers blown to Bacos by something that resembles a hand gernade with an attitude problem. He does catch one, though, using one of the "fastballs" that Kurt has crafted for the three.
The twerps move on to several other trees, which are also inaccessible due to various reasons--if you pick one type, the trees will be harmed; another apricorn grove is infested with Beedrils, and a third has a Team Rocket pit dug right in front of it that traps our heroes.
Watch the Rocketeers (perhaps on a budget this week) using ordinary household technology--a vaccum cleaner, a stationary bike, and an electric fan--to nab Pikachu and theApricorns, as well as Misty not hesitating to point out that their "brilliant devices" most likely were bought for a few bucks at a garage sale. Practical girl, but not tactful.
Turnabout is fair play as Team Rocket fall into a pit of their own, prepared by Digletts, and Jessy loses her grip on Pikachu. There was a long eyes-glazing Captain Planet-esque environmentalist speech here about Digglett protecting the trees and mountains and preserving them for the birds of the air and beasts of the field which I have a strong feeling was not in the original dub, but was added by 4-Kids to make up for the dodginess with a note of E/I moralizing. I snapped back to attention watching how lovely Jessy looked as she slid down the Digglett tunnel, trying desperately to keep her top from flapping upwards.
Pikachu and Pineco dispatch the Rocketeers and their bargain-basement apricorn-gathering gear...and Kurt decides to keep the GS ball for observation. Misty seems only too relieved to hand the darned thing over and get rid of it. That done, the Azalea Gym is reopened, and Team Twerp makes their way to their next adventure.
Though really nothing got accomplished in this episode (we still have no bloody idea what's in the GS Ball or how to crack it open), you have to love any script centered around Pokeballs. I just like to see how far the censors can be teased before they snap.

I slipped "Zeta" and watched "House of Mouse" instead. After Pinnochio falls in with a couple of rough customers--Pain and Panic--Jiminy Cricket decides to quit as the little wooden-head's conscience. So the Blue Fairy makes him--Mickey's conscience? Isn't that superflous, playing conscience to the most goody-goody, straight-laced rodent in the world?
The high point for me was Jiminy's take on the Lee Perry speech-song supposedly based on the 1997 MIT commencement speech by Kurt Vonnegut.
The shorts were so-so, involving Mickey finding an envelope containing a large amount of money and buying an expensive hair ribbon for Minnie, only to discover it was her lost envelope and the money was to go to starving orphans. Nice moral dilemma, but weak execution. Then, Daisy invites herself on a picnic with the mice and drives them mad with her endless chirruping and constant self-centeredness. Tress MacNeille's vocal work was the highlight of this one ("Punch-buggie!"). When Mickey lays down the law, she steals their car and strands them in the wilderness. Ha. Funny.
Lots of cameos here, esp. during the bug's song: Baby Simba and Kala, Aladdin, Ariel, the villains of "Snow White", "Cinderella", and "Sleeping Beauty", Ariel, the Sea Witch, Genie, the cat and the fox from "Pinnochio", Cruella De Ville, Lampwick (with donkey ears), and others too numerous to mention. It seems after the musical number, everybody wants a conscience, but Jiminy decides to stick with the puppet. I'm torn as to which was better, the Timon/Pumbaa split or this one. I wonder how many more breakups we'll be treated to in this series? (I hear Cindy and the Prince are having irreconcilable differences.... >8D)

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