|
Belch's Brief Reviews
DR. BELCH
Sat Sep 9 20:41:11 2000
Pokémon:
"Misty Meets Her Match". Our heroes meet up with Rudy,
a pretty boy gym leader who likes training his Pokémon to
line-dance. This hair-flipping Lothario immediately takes a
shine to Misty. In about two minutes he's trying to woo her away
from Ash with soft music and half a flower-shop's worth of
roses. Slick customer. He even has his little sister stand up at
dinner and "abruptly" tell Misty how much she wants a
"big sister" around (talk about a scripted dinner
conversation!) Casanova Rudy makes his move that night, playing
the old "I want you and if you want me give me your answer
by tomorrow" gambit. Misty, however, faces a moral dilemma:
(a) she's an underage girl being propositioned by a guy she just
met that morning and (b) her heart is with Ash, though neither
one will admit it even to themselves. In the middle of the
match, with Rudy and Ash 1-1 and things looking bad for the boy;
Misty screams a few "inspirational words" at her object
d'amor. Rudy says the three magic words: "She wants
*him*." The tables turn, and Ash gets the badge and the
girl (though like most of us men, he is sadly oblivious to her
charms). Not to be undone, Rudy tells Misty through his kid
sister he's not ready to give her up yet.
Watch for the scene with Jessie and James' submarine balanced
atop a rock, with it bobbing back and forth and the two inside
moaning loudly. That, plus Jessie's position squat on James'
lap, might make a few dirty-minded Rocketshippers happy. Like
they say--if the Magikarp sub's a rockin', don't come
a-knockin'.
"Pokémon Double Trouble". It starts
when a woman who looks like Shirley MacLaine comes barreling up
to Ash, grabs him, hugs the blazes out of the poor boy, and
starts screaming, "My boy! My boy!" amid a barrage of
sickeningly affectionate epithets. This isn't the first time
this has happened (see "Hypno's Naptime"), though. Ash
must have a face as common as dirt. Either that or his old man,
whoever he is, has been spreading his seed at every port.
At any rate, the confusion is quickly settled,
and the woman turns out to be the Kumquat Island gym leader. She
proposes a Pokémon mixed-doubles tennis tournament-type match
(some of these leaders have some whacked-out ideas). Charizard
has learned to behave somewhat after Ash saved his sorry
half-frozen butt, though he balks at the idea of working as a
team with a little electric rat. In the end, though, the big
palooka and Pikachu do decide to cooperate, and they whip the
chozzerai out of Alakazam and Marrowak (by turning one's attack
against the other).
Fav exchange: Team Rocket stranded on a little island in the
middle of nowhere. James shows off his knowledge of literature:
"You know, they say no man is an island." Jessie cuts
him to the quick with, "Well, you're not a man."
Whip-crack! Bruising comeback! Actually most Pokefans have known
that since at least "Battle of the Queen Anne". Jackie
Chan Adventures
"The Dark Hand". Visually, it's reminiscent of such
UPN fare as "Extreme Ghostbusters" and "Mummies
Alive", which makes me wonder why they weren't offered it
first, or if they were, why they didn't accept it. It has that
same quirky, off-beat charm that Chan brings to his movies, with
him doing a flip or a barrel roll every couple of minutes, then
following it up with a little quip. It isn't totally unpleasant,
at least (it beats the devil out of "Max Steel" or
"Brats of the Lost Nebula", so be thankful for that).
Chan is an archaeologist (who happens to also be part gymnast
and part spider monkey) whose supporting cast include his scar faced
old friend Black, whose been working for a secret government
organization the better part of a decade; his crotchety elderly
uncle, whose catchphrase seems to be, "One more
thing!", and his likable misfit niece, who comes from Hong
Kong and has eyes like one of those Mexican kids painted on
black velvet. ("I have a niece?" Chan utters
disbelievingly.) The plot revolves
around a dozen magic talismans which must be kept out of the
hands of some group called the Black Hand. This could work for
or against the show, unless they can balance out this premise
with the right amount of pathos/human drama, like MIB. Watch the
live-action bit at the end, with Chan talking about his series.
The captioning is totally at odds with the dialogue, one talking
about the advantages of animation over live action and the other
talking about whether Jackie gets scared doing all those moves. Two
different trains of thought crashing and piling up dead bodies
on the track.
Generation O!
"You Copied". Three episodes into the series, and they
do a show that hits me right in the emotional cojones. Molly is
accused of plagiarizing lyrics off some crappy bubblegum band
who has only sold in Micronesia. She has never even heard their
drek, but is plunged into such a sense of doubt, paranoia, and
shame it shatters her self-esteem, and she can't string two
words together (or even eat pudding) without fearing another
lawsuit. As one who has been in this situation, my attention was
piqued. Of course, this being *Kids* WB, they sugarcoat the
ending. Had this been a real plagiarism hearing, the court would
have let the Schuberts' circumstantial evidence stand, Molly
would have been denied a chance to prepare any sort of defense
call witnesses, or cross-examine the plaintiff, and she would
have been stigmatized for life. IMO, if they call it
informative/educational, it should at least be truthful.
Nickelodeon had a couple of good moments though. "Angry
Beavers" featured a sea creature that sounded like
Christopher Walken (although sadly not voiced by J.G. Bennett),
and "Hey Arnold" had a tribute to grandparents. The
best one, and the one that brought a tear to this old eye, was
their look at veterans and how a single soldier can make a
difference.
Let your opinion be known! Reply to this post!
 - Register as a New User for the WBC Bulletin Board!
 - Already Registered? Reply to this post!
- View the original post and all replies!
|
