Belch's Brief Reviews (October 7)
DR. BELCH
Sat Oct 7 06:23:24 2000 

BAT BEY #38: "Big Time".
In the opening, the Tomorrow Knight goes up against a squad of train-hijacking goons led by a hatchet-faced thug named Kerros. (BTW, DYN the black goon looked oddly like rapper Coolio?) Kerros' boys work for a company called Agritek and are after an experimental plant growth hormone. Kerros, apparently thinking he's Wolverine from the X-Men, whips out a pair of metal claws and tries to slice-and-dice Batman, but winds up queering the deal when he slices open a barrel and nearly kills everybody in the boxcar with deadly gas.
Coincidentally, an old pal of Terry's has blown into town--Charlie "Big Time" Bigelow. Here we finally learn about Terry's past and why Dana's old man hates him so much--he and Big Time pulled a B&E when they were two stupid kids, and Terry, being a minor, got off with three months in juvie. Big Time did three years in the joint. Tery, feeling a massive dose of there-but-for-the-grace-of-God-go-I, persuades Bruce to get Bigelow a job at Wayne/Powers.
Now the clincher: Big Time is Hatchet Face's hatchet man (a bit predictable, yes, but ingenous). They devise a scheme to steal the growth hormone using a handprint cleverly taken from the foreman and imprinted on a special latex glove to fool the security sensors.
Terry is angry at Bruce when he catches the old man checking up on Big Time, then at himself for not realizing his old pal's prison connections or that he had been using him all along. During a second heist, however, Big Time is exposed to the goop and develops a severe case of acromegaly. Upon learning that Kerros was all too happy to throw him to the wolves, he goes after old Hatchet Face and is about to do him in, when Batman intervenes. Despite his size Batman puts him down like an arthritic old hound dog.
In the end, watching the newscast, Dana says, "I expected something like this to happen." (What? She was *expecting* a 12-foot tall mutie?) Some nice pathos here as Terry feels guilty he couldn't do more to save his old friend, though I was hoping he could have had a talk with Bruce. He knows about this sort of thing better than anyone. "I once failed a good friend, and it destroyed his life," he might have said. "Let me tell you about a lawyer named Harvey Dent...."

SS#4: "The Breed".
All in all, I couldn't help but think of the X-Men ep with the Morlocks as I watched this one.
When our hero is asked to tutor a track star named Derek in algebra, he gets more than he bargained for. It turns out he's a "Bang Baby" who mutates into this seven-foot-tall Clayface-looking bugger. I may have missed a lot more than I thought dozing through last week's ep. It seems the effects of the purple fog are like a nuclear explosion--those at ground zero get the worst, and then there are the fallout victims. Anyway, Static goes to hunt Derek down and finds he's been recruited by a shadowy figure named Ebon. Ebon is your basic eugenic madman who calls himself, Static, and his minions "The Metabreed", a forgotten and despised race that dwells in the sewers. Like Charles Manson, his followers seem drawn in by this sort of "they all hate you but here you have a home" routine. Derek realizes that he has a mother who loves him even if he does look like a monster and helps Static crush Ebon, then volunteers to help scientists find a cure for the Big Bang Syndrome. A nice little lesson about it's what's inside that counts--that, and you'll never need algebra in your adult life. Ever.
I wonder if only humans are affected by the Big Bang, or are animals vulnerable too? Will we be seeing mutated dogs and cats and giant bacteria in future eps?

POK #310: "A Tent Situation"
In this one we see the triumphant return of Brock! It seems he left Professor Ivy, though every time he's asked why he turns blue as a corpse and huddles in a fetal position. Mrs. Ketchum and Mimey--in a scene that looked like a bit right out of The Three Stooges--literally run across him (repeatedly) on the way home from market. It appears he was drinking pretty heavily and, weak from starvation, loneliness, and a bad-looking suit, passed out in a grassy field near Pallet Town.
Watch for the scene where Tracey nearly soils himself in his impatience to visit Prof. Oak. DYN all those notepads in his backpack? It's a miracle the doodlebug isn't swaybacked.
Watch also the scene with Team Rocket keeping an eye on our heroes. Is Jessy eating bon-bons? And why doesn't she share with the rest of us?
Honestly, does Mrs. K. give a crap what her son does? Notice how she spends her time either fawning over Brock or trying to use her son's Orange League trophy as a barbell. I imagine she doesn't even care if he changes his drawers once a week anymore.
When they get to Oak's place, TR appear with full fanfare dressed as clowns with a giant circus tent (hence the title). Actually I thought at first it was an exterminator's tent and that Oak was having the joint sprayed for a Beedril infestation.
Jessy and James are complete [bleep]-for-brains when it comes to Pokemon battling. First Jessy sicks Lickitung, the lamest Pokemon in the bunch whose attack is little more than that of an affectionate Labrador, on Muk, then James tries to defeat it with Victreebell. Obviously they'vve forgotten that Muk can whip a grass Pokemon's butt.
Then they try sucking up everything with a giant vaccuum cleaner and almost get away with it--if not for a mysterious cloaked figure with a Nidoran who turns the tables. Team Rocket blasts off again, etc., etc. Cloak Boy turnes out to be Gary Oak, who is faster, stronger and smarter since he lost at the Indigo League, and the ep ends with the two sqauring off in a Pokemon butt-kicking.

If yesterday was Fraterday, then I call today "Brainerday". Two brain-themed movies on this morning. First up is Steve Martin in "The Man with Two Brains" at 4 AM on HBO. Then at noon is "Sins of the Mind" on USA, about an artist who is unable to control her impulsive behaviors after an accident damages her brain. Shades of Phineas Gage....

I'll review "Men in Black" later today, once I catch it on a later cable feed.

Let your opinion be known! Reply to this post!

- Register as a New User for the WBC Bulletin Board!
- Already Registered? Reply to this post!
- View the original post and all replies!