Belch's Brief Reviews (Nov. 19)
DR. BELCH
Sun., Nov. 19, 2000 9:13:31BAT BEY: "The Call" part 2.
The episode opens with two epiphanies--one: War Hawk is alive and the suit he sent up was
a hollow remote-controlled dummy, and two: Superman is being controlled by a Starmie from
Pokemon. Bitterly ironic that Earth's greatest hero, after facing threats from all four
corners of the galaxy, is felled by a brainless invertebrate. Lex Luthor would have sold
his soul for such a creature.
Personally I would have attributed Superman's behavior to something deeper and more
psychological, like grief over Lois' passing (we still never learn what happened to her)
or wishing to give the imperialistic, too-big-for-their-britches JLU a mental spanking.
The creature behaves similar to a nanyte or to a dream-controlling somanabulance parasite
(MIB) and has a scheme to breed en masse to take over Earth. It has been controlling
Superman for years...though is thwarted by a simple electric shock, which seems a tad deux
ex machina. Perhaps Superman should have watched his back more while feeding his beasties.
Terry and the JLU visit the Fortress of Solitude. When Terry mentioned he knew someone who
knew where it was, I half hoped for a Lois appearance (as in the Superman movie, Lois was
the first human to visit the place).
Great bit here, after they discover an empty pen:
TERRY [picking up a blue pellet]: Is this food?
GREEN LANTERN, slight smirk: It used to be.
TERRY: Eew! [drops it hastily]
Superman has no memory of the past few years once he's released from the creature's grasp,
though he seems to know who Terry is. He doesn't seem panicked or disoriented for someone
who's been in a fugue state for months--or maybe he is but doesn't think it seemly to show
it.
A fairly touching ending, with Aqua Girl empathically getting in touch with the creature
to learn where its home is and Barda boom-tubing it there; and Terry turning down an offer
to join the League--not surprising, considering their shabby treatment of newbies.
All in all, a passable effort, but I still wonder about the "lost years" and the
question of Superman's redemption after "Legacy", as well as the pasts of the
other JLUers. The creature got more backstory than the lot of them.
POK JJ: "Snubull Snobbery"
This episode, like "Holy Matrimony", focuses on the absurdity of the hoi polloi.
A rich woman's Snubull has the worst case of Lady Chatterley's syndrome I've ever seen. It
wants to slum with lower-class dogs and fight with cat Pokemon, and it gets crabby and
pouts whenever its mistress mothers it. Brock can't help but notice how sulky it gets when
she lavishes the mutt with every convenience but pays no attention to its needs.
To make matters worse, she wants to marry it to a male Snubull who looks like Mr. Peanut.
[as Jeff Foxworthy] Dog marriage? Here in the South we just turn our dogs loose and let
them get it on in the road. First come, first serve.
Brock offers the Snubull "popcorn balls". Aack. First they mistranslate the
sushi-wrapped rice treats as doughnuts and now popcorn. This is little better than the
dumpling/croquette gaffe a couple of weeks ago on "Cardcaptors". It's hard to
enjoy a show when the dialogue is so badly mistranslated--especially when there's food
involved. In the immortal words of Larry Fine, "When it comes to food, I'm a common
sewer."
James, being a former member of the hoi polloi, reminisces a lot about growing up rich,
and irks Jessy to no end. Meowth soon becomes an object of affection (or a snack treat)
for Snubull. Watch for the scene where the two, shall we say, get a little more closely
acquainted. Is she trying to eat Meowth or mother him?
The rich woman does learn that Snubull, like anybody elese, have emotional needs that
money can't fufill--sort of. She's going on in the end about building a bigger play aea
for Snubull--and all the mutt wants is Meowth. Maybe she should spend a few bucks and buy
Snubull a kitten. It worked for that talking gorilla.
JCA: "Tough Break"
The bitter irony is that Jackie can run down the side of a building as it falls down, but
can't trip on a kid's toy without breaking his knee.
The rat talisman brings Jade's action figure to life when it gets jammed in the battery
compartment, and its prime directive is to attack the enemy, an evil troll doll. Capt.
Black thinks Jackie's been working too hard when he tries to warn him about the
danger--and the Dark Hand goons are following Gnomekop to Section 13 all the while.
Watch the goon with the bandage on his nose. He knows a
*li-iii-ii-ittle* too much about Gnomekop . "I collect them," he admits, with no
shame.
Jackie ends up with *two* broken legs...a bitter reminder of how many times the real
Jackie Chan has been injured. I've mentioned before that he actualy has a hole in his
skull that has never quite healed.
DYN that Gnomekop is "Pokemon" spelled backwards? Gotta catch 'em all....
CRDCAP: "Allies"
Sakura discovers one of the four elementals, water, at an aquarium and must go in to stop
it. Li and Mei Lin are inexplicably absent on this adventure.
Watch the scene after Tori saves the trainer and the penguin from being dragged to a
watery death and Madison throws herself *very familiarly* on Sakura. Oh, sweet shades of
Sappho.
Dig Sakura's costume. Has Madison been using the Harley Quinn costume pattern guidebook?
The water card is the distant cousin, it seems, to the freeze card, which explains why its
so dangerous. They are probably the most deadly ones in the deck. Hypothermia and
drowning--[shudders].
Watch for Kero traumatizing a small boy who gets a little too nosy at the aquarium.
POK JJ: "The Little Big Horn"
Ash and co. discover Stantler, a Pokemon who has a scent gland in its antlers that casues
hallucinogenic effects. Can you imagine some hippie licking a Stantler's scent gland to
get high, like they do those frogs? That'd be pretty funny.
Brock becomes very attatched to an injured baby Stantler because of his own parental
abandonment issues. Like betrayal in "Batman Beyond", abandonment is a common
theme in Pokemon: Ash never knew his father, Brock has lost his mother, and both Misty's
parents are AWOL. Jessy lost her mother, James' parents are cold and distant, and Meowth
grew up alone on the SoHo streets.
It sems Brock can't take a compliment from a woman without turning libidinous--watch his
behavior with Jenny result in another ear-drag from Misty.
Watch Meowth fight his own sentimentality getting the best of him.
The ending scene with the herd of Stantler that trample TR being real is the most bitterly
ironic of all.
XMEN: "Rogue Recruit"
Well, she looks like a cross between a goth and a crack wh*re, first of all...and
secondly, she is the focus of the story, but gets decidedly short shrift in the plot. It
was meant to heighten her mysteriousness--no one at the party knows her name, Mystique and
the blind woman never mention it, and Xavier calls her only "the rogue" (seems
that a brilliant empath could tap into her mind and at least glean a first name, even if
he never speaks it) but makes you feel more like the story is weighed down with subplots.
Like the Kitty/Nightcrawler thing. He tries too hard to impress her, with embarassing
results. She distrusts him and thinks him hideous, yet is sympathetic to him when he
nearly dies after Rogue absorbs his gift. Wolverine, the only adult in the lot (besides
Storm, who isn't in the scene), grunts, "Kids." Which says it all.
Rogue's voice sounds like the actress who voices Luanne on "King of the Hill",
though she has far fewer lines than everyone else. Her initial experience--between her
power-sucking and Mystique's comedy of errors--is traumatic at best. It's awonder she ever
joined the X-Men. It's a wonder she didn't shoot herself in the frigging head, really. For
my money they handled her a lot better in the Fox series.
Magneto appears to Mystique again, playing with paperclips. Still, it's only a small
sample of his power. Be thankful he doesn't, like in the comics, magnetize the iron fibers
in someone's blood and then tear them apart from within like a rotten breadfruit. Yet.
SS: "The New Kid"
I hate to disparage Virgil's intelligence, but when a kid who doesn't strike me as being
an Einstein suddenly gets a free ticket to the brain farm, I start smelling rodentia.
At least these villians were human and not Bang Babies--be grateful for that. A couple of
horse's a** grad students who teach a course at the new school have their students help
build electronic devices which will ultimately defeat Static. Virgil designs the robot's
electric eye. Isn't that like weaving the rope for your own hanging?
Turns out the school is being funded by the father of the Bang Babies and Static's old
nemesis Alva. Ironically Static leads Alva's robot right to its funder's own backyard and
trashes his mansion. One irony washes the other, or something.
I wonder if Daisy will replace Frieda as Virgil's love interest. She's a hot little
number.
MX STL: "When Lightning Strikes Twice"
When the little sister of an old enemy grows up and starts copping an attitude, Max has to
step in. Annabelle has bioelectric powers and one good shock will turn Max into a dead
battery. Her brother was a lame villain at best, and now it's a family thing. Aack. Bring
back Dread, or Dragonelle.
Though I admit watching Pete freak out on the plane was funny. Shades of Willaim Shatner
in "Twilight Zone"--"There's...something...on the wing!"
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